4 Proven Ways Mothers Balance Career and Family Life
by Heather Wolfson, CEO & Lead Strategist, Maven Coaching & Consulting
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Feel like you’re wearing a million and one different hats trying to balance career and family?
It can certainly feel that way, but it’s all one hat.
We all know that a bad day at work can lead to a draining night at home.
You don't stop being a teammate when you power down your laptop. And you definitely don't shut off being a mom when you fire up your computer.
There is no question you have a lot of different roles in life.
Career woman, mom, friend, neighbor, volunteer, daughter — to name a few! It's difficult to wear all these hats — especially when one conflicts with another. But you don't have to wear all the hats; you can just style them to your current circumstance.
The worst part about this "wears many hats" phrase is that it doesn't take you into account. YOU are always you no matter what is happening in your life or "what hat" you're wearing.
Being deeply rooted in your purpose at home, work, and in your community gives you your signature style that carries across all the facets of your life.
How do you ask?
Here are four proven methods for balancing career and family life for working moms.
Ditch The All Or Nothing Approach
The topic of women in leadership tells a story about two narratives. The first is that women simply can’t have both a fulfilling career and a thriving home life.
The second is the ever-popular “Lean In” advice. Popularized by Sheryl Sandberg, “Lean In” focused on encouraging women to pursue their ambitions and changing the conversation from what we can't do to what we can do.
These ideas are extreme, and it is why most of the exceptionally talented, hard-working female leaders and mothers I consult with are still completely burnt out.
Not just burnt out but disillusioned and stuck thinking there must be something wrong with them when neither narrative fits their life’s aspirations.
Know Your Priorities
Women who successfully have a professional and personal life that is in harmony have one thing in common: The ability to lead from a strong internal foundation.
They know when to say yes, and when to pass something up because they deeply understand their priorities.
I call it a purpose statement.
Mine is to leave a legacy of empowerment and empathic leadership through my work and to instill those same values in my children. My purpose doesn’t change if I’m at a soccer tournament or in a boardroom with my colleagues— and that is what keeps all things in check.
This isn’t to say that life is balanced. Some days I have to work more, some days I am more present with my family. But it’s in alignment with my purpose.
Do you know what your purpose statement is? Here are some examples that can help give you a starting point with your own:
"To support the health and well-being of our planet and everyone who lives here."
“To help level the playing field, so everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed.”
"To use my gifts to improve the self-worth and wealth of people worldwide."
Having a personal purpose statement can help give you direction to accomplish your goals.
Ask For Help (Or Delegate)
I bet you could do it all yourself, but why?
This was a hard leadership lesson to learn. I used to think that it would be easier for me just to do it. In reality, I wasn’t helping myself or my team. I wasn’t empowering them or allowing them to step up.
Since then, I have found value in delegating responsibilities. Here are three types of tasks you should be delegating at work.
Tedious tasks that don’t impact growth (we're talking simple everyday tasks that will free up your time)
Tasks that drain you of passion (your job is to stay passionate and drive that passion to your team)
Tasks that someone else can do better than you (your team members have many skills, some that can fill the gaps of yours, humble yourself enough to recognize them)
Our role as leaders is to develop our teams. Each team member has their own unique skill set, personality, and strengths. Learn to lean on your team to get the job done. This means delegating at home as well. You’ve got a team there too, why not delegate and make life a tad bit less stressful?
Ask your kids & partner (or whoever you live with) for help with chores around the house
Ask for help (we can’t always be in two different places at once)
Whether it’s family helping you with day-to-day chores or team members helping you on a work project, find ways to delegate and lighten your load.
Disconnect To Reconnect
I recently had the chance to spend quality one-on-one time with my oldest. We had so much fun at this soccer game that the only time my phone came out was to capture a selfie. Taking time to be present rather than always looking out at the world through a screen is something we can miss if we're not careful. Sometimes life can get so busy we forget to mark the moments that make everything we do worth doing. It got me thinking, how do we acknowledge those moments?
For me, giving pause allows those moments to become motivation and nourishment on rough days.
When it comes to life balance, it often feels as if we are always behind. Our dream is to strike the perfect balance between work and family if we can only be more productive or manage our time better. But here’s the thing: We’re mis-defining life balance. Doing everything for an equal period of time isn't the goal -- it's doing the right things at the right time.
In this season, both being a mom and working are “right things.” Even when you're busy and hectic, you can feel confident because you know you're putting your time into the things that matter.
Looking for more clarity. Book a free 20-minute session to accelerate your development as an aligned leader.
